The young ghost
who went trick or treating?
A neighbor asked her,"Who are your parents?"
"Deady and mummy", she answered.
Sent in by: Cindy W
Thanks, Cindy :-)
(Click on arrow to show answer in drop down box)
Q: They call me a man, but I'll never have a wife.
I was given a body, but not given life.
They made me a mouth, but didn't give me breath.
Water gives me life and sun brings me death.
What am I?
Q: Why did the turtle cross the road?
Q: What do you call two people in an ambulance?
Q:
What has wheels and flies?
Sent in by: Tyler W...Vancouver, WA. USA
Thanks, Tyler :-)
A
sign outside a barber's shop said:
COME IN TOMORROW FOR A FREE HAIRCUT.
Fred saw it, and went back the next day and asked for his
free haircut. "'Can't you read?" said the
barber. "It says come
in tomorrow!"
Deep
within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree.
After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the
air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground.
After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again,
jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again
and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch
watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned
to her mate. "Dear," she chirped, "I think
it's time to tell him he's adopted."
A
new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology
courses.
She started her class by saying, "Everyone who
thinks you're
stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.
The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid,
Little Johnny?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all
by
yourself!"
There was
this Christian lady that had to do a lot of traveling
for her business so she did a lot of flying. But
flying made her
nervous so she always took her Bible along with
her to read and it
helped relax her .
One
time she was sitting next to a man. When he
saw her pull out her Bible he gave a little
chuckle and went back
to what he was doing. After awhile he turned to her and
asked "You
don't really believe all that stuff in there do
you?"
The lady replied "Of course I do. It is the
Bible, God's word."
He said "Well what about that guy that was
swallowed by that
whale?
She replied "Oh, Jonah. Yes I believe that,
it is in the Bible."
He asked "Well, how do you suppose he
survived all that time
inside the whale?"
The lady said "Well I don't really know I
guess when I get to
heaven I will ask him."
"What if he isn't in heaven?" the man
asked sarcastically.
"Then you can ask him." Replied the lady.
A couple
had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were
excessively mischievous. They were always getting into
trouble
and their parents knew that, if any mischief occurred in
their
town, their sons were probably involved.
They boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been
successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he
would
speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed, but asked to
see
them individually. So the mother sent her 8-year-old
first, in
the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in
the
afternoon.
The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the
younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is
God?".
They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response,
sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed.
So the
clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone,
"Where is God!!?" Again the boy made no attempt
to answer. So
the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his
finger
in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!?"
The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly
home
and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When
his older brother found him in the closet, he asked,
"What
happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We
are in
BIG trouble this time, dude. God is missing - and
they think
WE did it!"
Is it
true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste
funny?
When you
mail us your jokes, let us know what name to use so you
can get credit for sending it in. We won't use any last
names, cuz we need to B safe :-)
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