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When I
was a young turkey, new to the coop
My big
brother Mike took me out on the stoop
Then he
sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
And he
told me there was something that I had to know;
His look
and his tone I will always remember,
When he
told me of the horrors of..... Black November;
"Come
about August, now listen to me,
Each day
you'll get six meals instead of just three
"And
soon you'll be thick, where once you were thin,
and you'll
grow a big rubbery thing under your chin;
"And
then one morning, when you're warm in your bed,
In'll
burst the farmer's wife, and hack off your head;
"Then
she'll pluck out all your feathers so you're bald 'n pink,
And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin' in the sink;
"And
then comes the worst part" he said not bluffing,
"She'll
spread your cheeks and pack your rear with stuffing.
"Well,
the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,
and I sat on
the stoop like a winged piece of meat.
I
decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
I'd have
to lay low and remain overlooked;
I began
a new diet of nuts and granola,
High-roughage
salads, juice and diet cola;
And as
they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes,
I stayed
in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes;
I
maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
And
tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed;
But 'twas
I who was laughing, under my breath,
As they
chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death;
And sure
enough when Black November rolled around,
I was
the last turkey left in the entire compound;
So now I'm
a pet in the farmer's wife's lap;
I haven't
a worry, so I eat and I nap;
She held
me today, while sewing and humming,
And
smiled at me and said
"Christmas is coming..."
My friend Jan E-mailed
me this silly poem...
Hope you enjoy it
as much as I did.
Thanks, Jan.
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