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TEACHER: Didn't you promise to
behave?
STUDENT: Yes,
sir.
TEACHER: And didn't I
promise to punish you if you didn't?
STUDENT: Yes, sir, but
since I broke my promise, you don't have to keep
yours.
TEACHER: Tony, go to the map and find North
America.
TONY: Here it
is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now,
class, who discovered America?
CLASS:
TONY!
TEACHER:
Nichole, name one important thing we
have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
NICHOLE:
Me!
SUBSTITUTE TEACHER: Are you chewing
gum?
LITTLE NIKKI: No,
I'm Nikki Marie.
LYNZEY:
Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?
TEACHER: Of
course not.
LYNZEY:
Good, because I didn't do my homework.
TEACHER:
Timmy, how can one person make so
many mistakes in one day?
TIMMY: I
get up early.
TEACHER: How old were you on your last
birthday?
STUDENT:
Seven.
TEACHER: How old will
you be on your next birthday?
STUDENT:
Nine.
TEACHER: That's
impossible.
STUDENT: No, it isn't,
teacher. TODAY is my birthday, and I'm eight.
TEACHER:
Josh, why do you always get so
dirty?
JOSH: Well, I'm a lot
closer to the ground than you
are. 
TEACHER: Why are you late?
TYLER: Because of the
sign.
TEACHER: What
sign?
TYLER: The one that
says, "School Ahead, Go Slow". That's what I
did.
TEACHER:
Alexis, I hope I didn't see you looking
at Kiara's paper.
ALEXIS: I hope you
didn't
either.
BOBBY: I don't think I deserve a zero on this
test.
TEACHER: I agree, but
it's the lowest mark I can give
you.
MOTHER: Why did you get such a low mark on that
test?
JUNIOR: Because of
absence.
MOTHER: You mean you
were absent on the day of the test?
JUNIOR: No, but the
kid who sits next to me
was.
RANDY: Dad, can you write in the
dark?
FATHER: I think so.
What do you want me to write?
RANDY: Your name on
this report
card.
TEACHER: Well, at least there's one thing I can
say about your son.
FATHER: What's
that?
TEACHER: With grades
like these, he couldn't be
cheating.
TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot
snake.
SHANA: You
can't fool me, teacher. Snakes don't have
feet.
HYGIENE
TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting
insects?
LESTER: Don't bite
any.
TEACHER: If you received $10 from 10 people,
what would you get?
ANNE: A new
bike.
TEACHER: If you had one dollar and you asked
your father for another, how many dollars would you have?
JOHNNY: One
dollar.
TEACHER (sadly): You
don't know your arithmetic.
JOHNNY (sadly): You
don't know my
father.
TEACHER: If I had seven
apples in one hand and
eight apples in the other, what would I have?
RICHARD: Big
hands!
"Isn't the principal a
dummy!" said a boy to a girl.
"Say, do you know who I am?" asked
the girl.
"No."
"I'm the principal's
daughter."
"And do you know who I am?" asked the
boy.
"No," she replied.
"Thank
goodness!"
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"School Days"
Sequencer: Unknown
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